Personal Branding

Personal Branding
Personal Branding





how to stop taking things so personally

Consciously or unconsciously, people will always find a way to make you feel the way they feel. 

If someone treats you poorly, it's because they feel that way inside. Most of the time is not about you; however, when something like this happens deep inside, we think we have done something wrong, that is our fault. Yes, we take things personally.

And the root of taking things personally; caring so much about what others think, thinking that it is always your fault how other people treat you or what they are saying about you is true. It's because we have been raised by people who could not face and resolve their issues, so they passed it on to us.

And it's so hard to get out of that, but we owe ourselves that freedom and clear the path for our children's lives. Our kids won't be free of shame, comparisonitis, fear of judgment if we don't do the inner work first.

So how can you stop taking things so personally?

There are different techniques to help you in this process. It will depend on what works for you. Remember, this is an individual journey, and it will depend on the root.

The best you can do is work with someone to help you in this process, whether it is a counsellor, therapist or coach.

Here are three things that have worked for me:

1. Be Authentic.

If you care what other people think, or if you believe inside what they say about you is true, you give your power away. When you should be the one telling the world who you are because you know inside who you really are. Yes, you may need to learn how to be authentic again, clarify your why, what you stand for, etc. 
This is the exact reason why I fall in love with Personal Branding.

2. Taking things personally equals shame.

Instead of focusing on "how I should stop caring about what others say", let's understand what your shame is.

What are your trigger points? For example, I cared so much about what people said about my English skills for a long time. I would cry and feel so embarrassed. But it was not what they said or laughed about my accent that affected me. It was that inside me I was so insecure about the way I spoke. For you, perhaps, it could be your weight, age, or studies, maybe you don't have the qualifications you think you need, or the years of experience you are supposed to have, and you feel less because of that. Go to the roots, and work on that.

3. Be aware of your own egocentric view

For me, this has been a game-changer. For a long time, I would enter places and feel like people were looking at me, and if they made comments with other people, I would think that they were judging me.

The truth is that every one of us has our egocentric view, so while we worry about whether other people are looking at us or what they might be thinking about: everyone is worried about their insecurities at the same time.

In the end, we all worry about what other people think about us that we don't think about others. We do not really pay attention to what others are doing.

Why this is so important in business:

Imagine you are looking for investors, partners, or even collaborations. You will hear many times "No", and you will have to get used to it. They are not refusing you; they are deciding based on their interests.

Imagine posting valuable content that took you maybe days to put years of experience in one post, and it only attracts trolls—people who start judging you and sending you negative comments. Remember, it is never about you. It's about what they read that has hit a nerve, something inside them (remember point number 2 above).

On the other hand, you post the same content, and you don't even get a like from your mum. How does this make you feel? Does it make you feel you are not good enough? Does it make you think you are a fraud? That people dont like you or are interested in you because you are not worth it? You may not believe this, but inside you may feel like that. It's vital to do the inner work to be able to fight these situations.

Be an Olympian

We just finished watching The Olympics. Tokyo 2020. Have you realised how many times most athletes had to try it again before getting to the semifinals or even obtaining a bronze medal?

Some have to try it four times (16 years), training and knocking on sponsors' doors to get funded and continue their dream of getting a gold medal. Could you imagine if they would have taken it personally, all the time brands said they were not worth their investment? Where would they be? Maybe in a 9-5 job, frustrated.

Care, but don't take it personally.

I don't mean you don't care what other people who are important to you think. I mean, you should care about receiving constructive feedback.

You should be aware of how people see you, be open in receiving feedback and ask yourself if there is anything you can improve on or if everything they are saying is more because of them. You care, but you don't take it personally.


There's no quick fix or the best solution; we all have different ways to process things, and this is an ongoing journey.

What works for you is going to be the best approach for you. But you are only going to find out if what works for you if you start.

From my own experience, the solution is a sum of experiences and actions that help us stop taking things personally.

Self-Awareness is the key

It is a stage of self-awareness that helps us recognise and monitor our feelings, emotions, and thoughts before reacting to certain situations.

Self-awareness helps you understand how others perceive you and that the way they react to you reflects them and not you. But most importantly, know yourself better and have a plan that when you catch yourself getting into the trap of getting things personally, you can pause and check with yourself.

You may not be able to control what people think or say about you, but you can control the way you react to it. You are not what happened to you. You are what you choose to become.

Disclaimer: Not taking things personally doesn't mean you put up with inappropriate behaviours or violence. Stay away from dangerous situations and seek help.

What are your thoughts or Personal Experience? Comment below!

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